Fun

Posted | 14 comments

Fun

“Focusing on the score attaches you to the result. Focusing on the process lets you access your greatest skill and increases your fun.” – John Douillard 

After years of running off and on due to aching hips joints and continuously sore knees, I decided running was something I wanted to do again. I had gleaned a lot of information listening to my children’s physical therapists as two of them deal with similar hip and knee issues (my genetic gift to them), and I was working with a trainer who specializes in running. I decided that a half marathon would be a good target race, selected one scheduled for four months out, and put my trainer’s plan into place.

The next thing you know, I’m on the interweb comparing my carefully developed plan to every other plan. I was looking up times of not only women my age but elite women too. I was estimating times I thought I could run carefully calculating and recalculating the mile splits I would need to achieve. My training became laborious. I dreaded each workout. Body parts started to ache and throb. I was making myself crazy.

Thankfully, I realized that if I didn’t cut it out I was going to either a. stress myself out and quit or b. injure myself so that I couldn’t run. It was at this point that I had to question my motives. Of course, I run for health reasons. I want to zoom into old age with vim and vigor, not hobble my way to my death bed. But the main reason, the real reason I run is because I sincerely love doing it. Being outside cruising through nature just makes me happy.

So, I decided then and there that my main goal for this half marathon would be to have fun. Every single time place and position and splits would slip into my head, I pushed them out. I wanted to stay in front of the SAG wagon. I hoped to run continuously to the half way point. I thought it would be nice to be able to do the whole thing in around three and a half hours. BUT the main goal, regardless of whatever else might happen that day, was to have fun. And I did. I had a great time running the race. I stayed in front of the SAG wagon, ran continuously to the 10 mile point, and ran forty-four minutes faster than I predicted (you can read all about it here Georgia Half Marathon).

Yesterday, I sat covered up in things to do feeling completely overwhelmed. The good news:  it’s all really cool stuff that I’m beyond excited about doing. I’m sincerely stoked and I want to get through all the goodness because I know there is more waiting. I have work I want to do, people I love connecting with, and so many interesting things to learn. But that’s just it, there’s so much and I’m in such a hurry to get to the end. So ready to be done.

I realized as I sat there frustrated beyond belief that if I didn’t cut it out I was going to either a. stress myself out and quit or b. push myself to the point of illness.

I was discussing all of this with a good friend when he asked me why I felt such a need to do everything I was doing. As I pondered his question, it dawned on me that I seek to accomplish things because being able to say I did something makes me feel worthy of the space I take up.

Then, I thought about the half marathon and I thought about how much fun it was and I thought why not? Why not just have fun? If I can do it while I run, why can’t I do it in my life? Why can’t I just wake up everyday, get stuff done, and have fun while doing it?

So, I have decided that my main goal for living my life is to have fun and every single time place or position or end goals slip into my head, I will push them out. I need to seek to do things that bring myself and others joy and if I accomplish something in the process then, yeah me. I have my focuses, the things that are most important to me. I’ve named my intentions, my desires, my goals. I have projects that I’m completely jazzed to be doing. So, now it’s just simply time to have fun.

14 Comments

  1. Enjoying the process… That seems to be the message the universe is trying to send me this week. And your post came at the perfect time. I’m living my dream but I need to remember to have fun with it. Thanks!

  2. I continue to be amazed at the universes timing. Everything I picked up to read this week from the book on sport’s training to the article I’ve been carrying around for no less then four months to the magazine in the doctors office had something to do with having fun. I’m glad to know that you are sharing this part of the process with me.

  3. Wow, what an awesome post!! This is so in line with how I am currently feeling and approaching every situation in my life that I feel as though I wrote it! haha. It should be everyone’s goal in life to just have fun… this world would be a much happier and less stressed place.

    • And we would still get things done.

  4. Just reading the first quote has touched my heart so dearly! And you ended on such a lovely note as well. I’m on board with you – life is a journey of fun! Thank you for the reminder! xoxo

  5. This coincides with my resolution not to make New Year’s resolutions, to just get up every day and follow the leadings of my heart. But it is so easy to forget, and I had completely; too often I just drag myself through the hours, like a weary dog pulling an overloaded bobsled. Fortunately, my schedule is about to slow down for just a few weeks; I am going to see what I can do about having more fun. Thanks for the inspiration.

  6. Brava, Denise! Fantastic!

    • and it only took me four decades to get here…

  7. Your post spoke to me. Two things really stood out: “being able to say I did something makes me feel worthy of the space I take up.” This is a deep realization in itself and cuts to the very heart of why we deny so much in our lives and do too much. The other “Why can’t I just wake up everyday, get stuff done, and have fun while doing it?” Hello? How simple can it get yet I’m the first to admit I can be too serious. Thanks for the reminder! xox

  8. So true! I’ve gotten all serious and focused about things I loved in the past and all that happened is that I stopped loving them. So today I’m going to make sure it’s all about fun! Thanks 🙂

  9. This is a piece of true beauty. I like this part so much: “I was discussing all of this with a good friend when he asked me why I felt such a need to do everything I was doing. As I pondered his question, it dawned on me that I seek to accomplish things because being able to say I did something makes me feel worthy of the space I take up.”
    It’s really about breaking our addiction to achievement and start feeling worthy because of our being and not our doing. I’m am SO with you on this.

  10. Denise, I’m so glad you’re embracing “fun.” What is life if we’re not enjoying ourselves. And so great that you want to help others have fun, too. I love this, “So, I have decided that my main goal for living my life is to have fun and every single time place or position or end goals slip into my head, I will push them out. I need to seek to do things that bring myself and others joy and if I accomplish something in the process then, yeah me.”

  11. Oh this is so me and I gained so much from this post. I have so many passionate pursuits I drive myself crazy. And yes, I have been there:
    “a. stress myself out and quit or b. push myself to the point of illness”! My favorite greeting card sits prominently on my desk. It says: “I used to be driven. Then I pulled over.”I’m a work in progress. Thanks for the reminder. 😉

  12. Denise, I’m not a runner, but the story of your training and “go, go, go” mindset and comparing yourself to others switched on a light bulb for me. Then you segued into the “life” part of the story and WHAM! (Looks like I’ve been training for a “marathon” after all, runner or not.)

    As you so wisely pointed out, “I was making myself crazy!” Fun is there to be had, simply by making up your mind to have it. Congratulations on beating your projected time by 44 minutes, too — WOW!

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