It’s Never Easy or Cheap

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It’s Never Easy or Cheap

“Focus is often a matter of deciding what things you’re not going to do.” – John Carmack

Of course, as soon as I posted my essay about how I was going to stop focusing on things that are distractions for me i.e. painting for example, so I could focus on things that are more urgent, I got a message from a friend telling me that she had just started painting. She is loving it. She had not read my blog post. I replied with lots of upbeat encouragement. It was sincere. She and I are in very different places.

Several years ago she was on the verge of being fired, she was breaking up with yet another bad boyfriend, and she was struggling with a pretty serious eating disorder. Several years ago she said enough is enough. Several years ago she whole heartedly embarked on a journey to get herself together. She was working to save her job, she was learning how to eat healthy and take care of her body, and she was beginning to love herself.

She didn’t have time for paint. It was a lot of hard work but today she has a great guy, a job she loves, and she takes good care of her body.  She inspires me. This is not to say that everyday is perfect for her, but the big pieces of her life are in place. Today she has time to dip a brush in color and sling it onto a canvas. Several years ago she didn’t have the luxury of that time, and today neither do I.

I’ve divided my life into three categories: personal, family and friends, and work. Personal includes taking care of my mind, body, and spirit. Family and friends is all about respecting and nurturing the important relationships in my life and creating a safe and comfortable environment for the ones I love. Work is about aligning myself with people and causes that inspire me, determining the best way that I can offer support, and being compensated (not necessarily in cash) for my efforts.

Change does not come easy or cheap. Developing new better habits is difficult for me, and the bad habits are pretty hard to shake. I’m no where close to done. It’s just a matter of moving forward even when I’m tired and scared and unsupported. It’s just a matter of listening carefully and trying my best to follow the path that is there for me. It’s just a matter of embracing this time instead of running toward what comes easy. Through all this trial and error, I have a long list of things that do and don’t work work for me.

Because of the example of my friend and others like her, I know that if I put in the hard work, if I put down the brush and back away from the easel, if I focus on bringing good into my life, the big pieces will fall into place for me too. If I keep at it, maybe like my friend, I’ll find that the personal/friend/family/work areas of my life begin to flow easy. Maybe some time in the future, I’ll find myself with a bit of time to kill. Maybe then I’ll pick up a brush and sling a little paint again.

1 Comment

  1. It’s always something to look forward to, isn’t it!?
    Best wishes on this journey. Thanks for the invitation to follow along. My journey is looking pretty messy… you are an encouragement to press on.

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