Letting Go

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Letting Go

As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit. – Emmanuel Teney

As I’ve discussed, this whole goal setting thing has been a bit stressful. My friend Sandy said it best when she suggested that my issue with goals is my fear that having them would “box me into a certain set of expectation that become the dictators of [my] days.”  Yep. That just about sums it up.

I know in my heart that this having goals, that naming it and claiming it, is key for me. I know in order for me to grow and develop and move forward, I have to do this thing, so I’ve pressed even when I’ve wanted to chuck it.

One of my goals involves generating income. I like working, and I enjoy making money. I’ve earned very little in 2012 and so I simply want to figure out some ways to make more money in 2013 without breaking the law or being immoral (a girl has to have standards, you know).

Another goal I have is to get our emergency savings fund back up to a nice safe cushion and to pay off some bills we accumulated in 2012. We’ve not blown cash on fast cars or fancy jewels. The past twelve months have just been a bit spendy with sick dogs and a totaled vehicle and some business investments that haven’t paid off yet.

Anticipating meeting these goals, I started looking at job boards. Then, I thought of businesses I could start. This was followed by me making lists of all the skills and other things I could sell. Of course, all this threw me into a pit of extreme anxiety as I stressed over which was the best choice.

As I continued to fret, fear began to creep in. I worried that I’d get stuck yet again in some sixty plus hour a week mind suck that would take all the strength, energy, and joy I have. I worried I’d end up working with some jerk who would make it their personal mission to make my days a living hell. I worried I’d be trapped in some mindless misery of my own creation.  While history confirms these are all legitimate concerns, they weren’t moving me forward.

Earlier this year I wrote:

“I just want to work. I want to get up everyday with something to do that I feel is important. I want to be surrounded by like minded people who are positive and upbeat. I just want to get stuff done with no whining, no complaining, no self-serving agendas, and no drama. I want my contribution to be appreciated and valued. I want to be compensated fairly and praised appropriately. I want to feel like I’m making a real difference in the lives of others, that what I’m doing actually matters, helps, and makes others feel good.”
 

As I thought about these words, I realized I had to let go. I was so worried about how I was going to achieve these two goals and what might go wrong that I wasn’t open to what could happen. I decided then and there that I wasn’t going to worry about how anymore. Instead I was going to be open to any and all opportunities as they presented themselves. I was going to consider anything that came along. I shared my decision with no one.

Then it happened.

Exactly two days later my friend, MariaElena, called. A client of hers needed help in their office. The position was for a company that does disaster restoration, emergency recovery, and floor and furniture cleaning. I have zero experience. It involved a lot of paper pushing. Not my idea of fun. But MariaElena said as her client described the perfect person for the position she thought of me. Was I interested?

I had decided to be open, right? I had decided to consider anything that presented itself. I really didn’t have a choice, did I? I agreed to go to the interview.

As I sat in the office the next day talking to the two owners, I was impressed by how positive and upbeat they were. They had a real can-do attitude, and obviously cared very much about the clients who hired them as well as their employees. I slowly began to realize that while this was not a business I know or a job I covet, this company really matched the description of not only the type of work I wanted, but also the type of people I wanted to work with.

The icing on the cake? It’s a part-time position, the offices are a mile and a half from my house, and they are family friendly. Yep. It was looking pretty good.

Still, I freaked. I had some long conversations with a few of the people who know and love me best. The consensus was unanimous. Take the job. Considering everything going on in my life and the two very specific goals I set, everyone agreed it was the perfect storm.

I’ve known all along that the key is letting go. When I finally let go of my need to control the outcome, the phone rang. When I decided to be open to all possibilities, things flowed. It was all to my delight and for my benefit. So, I said yes, to the job and I’ll stay open for more of the good that is going to find me in 2013.

5 Comments

  1. wow. I’m so glad I read this. And I love the way you called it “the perfect storm”. Good luck with your new job and here’s to a happy, healthy and successful 2013! Blessings!

  2. Congrats on the new job, Denise! As you know, I have had similar experiences in other areas recently. My word for 2012 was “release.” It was the right one.

    • Release, letting go…it’s all the same. It’s just important that you do it.

  3. Denise, sometimes its that unlikely job that brings so much fulfillment. (For me, it was trucking.) Glad you found your niche! Your post inspires me to look at things I may be hanging onto that are holding me back. Happy Holidays!

    • It has been important to me to find a way to generate income that didn’t distract from life. For now, this is it. As I wrap my third week on the job, I can happily say I feel good about the decision. I’m earning income AND still have the time and energy to devote to the important people and things. I loved reading about how you used your job trucking around the country to sample the best cuisines. Now, that’s a book that needs to be written.

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