Pam, Oprah, and Job

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Pam, Oprah, and Job

One question that keeps on popping up for me is how do you really, truly surrender.

Oprah has shared how the second she “surrendered” her dream of being in the Color Purple, Steven Spielberg calls and offers her the part of Sofia and she is nominated for an Oscar and becomes, well, Oprah. Oprah’s story resonated with my friend, Pam, so much so that she wrote this very excellent post http://pamasberry.blogspot.com/2011/09/letting-go.html

What I love about the Oprah story is the same thing that Pam noted. Oprah says,

“When you’ve worked as hard and done as much and strived and tried and given and pled and bargained and hoped; surrender. When you have done all that you can do and there’s nothing left for you to do; give it up. Give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself and let it then become part of the flow.”

But how do you give it up?

I sent Pam the following text: “What if this is as good as it gets?”

She responded: “Oh, please don’t say that. I’ll start crying all over again. Because that is my biggest fear.”

I replied: “Then that’s the thing. It’s my biggest fear too.”

And it is my biggest fear. That this is all there is. That after all the energy and effort all I will ever be is a chubby, aging wife and mother of three with a string of failed projects. That I will putz around my house and meander through middle age settling into a routine of early bird dinners and marathon TV watching in my senior years.

Here’s the thing…

When I look at Pam and the life she leads, I see someone on a great, big, inspiring adventure. In the past 12 months, she’s done some of the most fun and craziest things of anyone I know. Her blog doesn’t tell the half of it. This girl is living a great big, exciting life.

When I look at almost anybody else, I’m happy for their accomplishments and success. I don’t ever think it’s not good enough. I don’t ever think they could have done more. I don’t ever come up with a list of how they could be better. I just congratulate and celebrate what is right now.

How can I ask Pam to be more than she is? How can I expect anybody else to do more than they are capable of doing? I can’t and more importantly I wouldn’t ever do that to anyone, especially those I love. However, it’s a whole different story when it comes to me. When it comes to me and my life, I see lack, I see failure, and I see sorrow and disappointment. I have the bar set so high and nothing less than perfection is good enough. Shame on me.

I always thought that Job fellow needed to grab a backbone, tell God to knock it off, and go find a doctor and some other people to help him out of the mess he was in. But instead, Job told God it was all cool. I never understood that until now. Job knew. He knew that he had to surrender it all because like Oprah says, “God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can dream for yourself.” Job trusted that he was right where he was suppose to be and doing exactly what he was suppose to do. Sadly, in his case, it was surviving the devastation and disease God allowed the devil to dump on him. However, Job knew that God had a plan for him and he trusted that in the end it would all work out. He didn’t try to insert his goals or ambitions into the plan. He got up every day, did the best he could considering the circumstances, and never, NEVER once tried to insert his will over God’s will.

So, that’s the thing. If this is it, if this is the most my life is going to be, I have to surrender to it. If my life as it is right now is exactly what it’s suppose to be, then I have to accept it, love it, and relish it. I have to blossom and bloom. I have to get up every day and focus on what inspires and tend to what needs to be done. I have to stop worrying about the end result and just dive into the process. Like Pam, I just need to make my life a great big adventure. I just have to throw myself heart and soul into what’s in front of me. Like Oprah I have to remember that God has a bigger dream for me than I have for myself. I need to get out of His way. And like Job I have to have faith that it’ll all work out.

4 Comments

  1. “God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can dream for yourself.” Love it.
    Like I’ve heard… Let go, and let God.
    I hope you don’t think that what you are doing is boring, or unimportant. You may see a litany of failed projects. I see a woman with a strong marriage and three independent wonderfully talented children. I see deep and thought-fllled words and a heart that is achingly beautiful.
    To be in community with people who are dealing with a new diagnosis of Down’s for her 15 week pregnancy, another whose husband is fighting a losing battle after being shot in a robbery… another who is moving herself and her five children {all six and under} to a new home after her husband walked out… a mother who is nurturing her six year old daughter and family through a brain tumor… well it makes me realize that my mid-life-malaise is really not so bad after all.
    God has you exactly where he wants you. Clinging, wondering, curious, and maybe even a bit melancholy. Maybe this is a season of thanksgiving. A time to wonder and the small, tiny blessings that make up our life.
    Have you read One Thousand Gifts? Do. Ann Voskamp is brilliant. http://aholyexperience.com

  2. Like the blog.

  3. I really appreciate the topics you post here. Thanks for sharing great information that is actually helpful. Have a great day.

  4. i love reading through your blog.

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