Wallowing In the Past

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Wallowing In the Past

“Where focus goes energy flows.” – Tony Robbins

In the past, I spent a lot of time living in the past dredging up old hurts, mulling over slights and indignation. I wanted to understand the why to’s, the what for’s, and the how comes. I just wanted to make sense of it all.

Then I realized I was spending all my time stuck in the past. I was so focused on what had happened that I wasn’t enjoying what was happening. I was so wrapped up in figuring out the past that I wasn’t planing my future.

I realized that it just didn’t matter. I mean, sure, we have to come to peace with what was, but we don’t have to understand it. It’s not always going to make sense. We can rehash it ad nauseum, but it doesn’t change it. And while grousing endlessly may give the appearance of momentary relief, it doesn’t solve anything. It’s just speculation at best and gossip at worst. Sometimes a thing just is, and we have a choice: we can cling to it or we can let go and move on.

I chose to move on.

So, when your past shows up in your mailbox, when there’s a call to dredge up things, people, and events of which you’ve long let go, what do you do?

I choose to move on.

When lines were crossed and people I loved attacked, even though I wanted to bite my tongue, even though it was amongst the hardest things I’ve ever done; I sat down, looked people in the eye and said what I needed to say: face to face. When I wrote things down, I signed my name. And the rest? I did bite my tongue. It just wasn’t worth the energy to complain, to whine, to fight. It still isn’t.

So, I have nothing to say. I was done a long time ago. I wish you well.

I choose to move on.

There’s too much good in the now, there’s too much rosy in the future to muck it up wallowing in the past.


  1. Well said, Denise. I wouldn’t be able to get through a day otherwise. Onward.

  2. Denise, you’re so right. Congratulations on deciding for yourself how to expend your “energy.” There will always be occasions, situations, and people who’ll try to divert it, but your actions were forward moving. Enjoy the present!

  3. Yay, Denise! Thanks.

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